I was so excited to introduce this topic to you but now that I'm actually at my computer, typing, my mind goes blank!! It's not that I don't find this topic interesting or worthy of our monthly dissection. It's more about which road should I take! My first thought (or question, rather) is how can I celebrate or love who I am when I keep comparing myself to other women? Aren't my efforts good enough? And how does loving myself help strengthen my roots?
I think a lot of this baggage comes from the fact that I hate failure. I aim to do things right and perfect, preferably the first time around. If I don't, I fall short of what I've told myself I should be.
I have this really great friend. Let's call her LuLu. She's poised, graceful, well-read, smart, funny, a great mom, and the list goes on. Instead of being joyous over our common virtues and celebrating our differences I'm stuck comparing and rating our differences. It's a subtle web of misery I create for myself. I think, "Hmmm, LuLu is very graceful, poised, and full of confidence...I'm clunky, quite hairy, and can't seem to sit up straight for more that 3 seconds. She's good and I'm bad! Now I'm forced to hate LuLu! And talk about her all the time!"
Pardon the exagerration. I do have a friend LuLu who is as I described. Sometimes I do struggle comparing myself because I think so highly of her. But am I getting the entire picture? Is this a fair comparison? Afterall, aren't I comparing my weaknesses to her strengths? Unchecked, this road of comparing with judgement could lead to dissolved friendships and a low value of self.
I don't know if anyone is immune to comparing ourselves to others. We are introduced to competion at a very young age. However, we can refrain from making judgements about ourselves and others. When I find myself at the all too familiar crossroads of judgement and acceptance I try with all my might to accept myself for all my faults and successes. Yes, I know that I can be lazy, but I'm also very passionate. Yes, I know I can get angry, but I'm also very kind.
The more we try to accept who we are the less we need to compare. When I can accept my faults I'm content and at peace with myself. Then I'm free to love purely because I'm seeing myself as God sees me. And I'm seeing LuLu as God sees her.
Accepting, loving, and celebrating who I am stregthens me. However, at times acceptance is in the wind that throws us into turmoil. It is through the trials that we learn the sacred act of accepting and forgiving ourselves. With each blow our roots delve deeper into our soil until we realize something we've always known. We each have worth and we all belong here.
I can't wait to hear more thoughts on our topic "Celebrating You!" Contributors, feel free to...well....contribute! Go ahead and post anytime!
5 days ago
2 comments:
Tallulah...I loved this post. It is so timely for me. I have a difficult time loving all the parts of me--both my perceived strenghts and perceived deficits. Unfortunately, when I don't love all of me I remain paralyzed with fear and constantly question, "Am I good enough?" I am bumping up against this now professionally and my fear of "being good enough"is keeping me stuck. Thank you, thank you.
"Accepting our Faults." hmmmm. That's good. I think about this often. Usually when i haven't cooked dinner for the eighth time this week ;) or figured out how to sew a button on. Or as I'm catching up on my 15 loads of laundry. (Seriously). The undomestic goddess in me tries to remind myself in those moments that while it is a struggle to want to be a domestic goddess, I have other qualities that are just as good and not as much of a struggle. I guess sometimes the faults are easier to notice! I am going to be more conscious of "accepting my faults" this week.
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